having a mental breakdown over instagram.
6:22:00 AM
Yes, I am one of those many teenagers that's addicted to a photo-sharing social media App called Instagram.
The story of my life regarding this started in 2011/2012, I was 13, no one had iPhones at school back then. So yes, I registered with a Samsung Galaxy Ace that only have a single primary camera of my mate. I was still using a Nokia X2 then! It was the year of when people uses the instagram filters. Generations moved on, people need to use a 2nd party app to edit their pictures before posting it on instagram. My feed used to be "colourful" with Nashville, Earlybird, 1977, Lomo-Fi, Toaster, and Valencia. Again, revolutions started. It started with me being on tumblr and I found out an app called VSCOcam in around the end 2013, in which apparently almost EVERYONE use now. Even though it's been a while since I started using it, I STILL SUCK. I mean, I keep scrolling through other people's profile on Instagram and see their feed is neat af! I keep practising, looking up some edit tutorials, trying other better (even paid ugh) apps... and still suck. There are still feeds that are worse than mine, but even more are way awesomer than mine. I can't ever get enough. Life happened, I grew up, I learn a lot and live to learn!
Anyway, I still am addicted with this and practising whenever I can, although now I am limited by being phoneless, I STILL TRY AND GIVE WHAT I CAN TO BE BETTER. Yes, a better instagrammer. My problem now is, I keep comparing my feeds to others until I'm depressed over it, a simple jealousy of other's talent stressed me out. I do admit and remind myself that my skills definitely developed, but it's still never enough.
Types of Instagrammers that puzzles me with the question "which one SHOULD I be?":
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| creds to @jnshilla on Instagram |
Famous, stylish, outgoing, and commonly found pretty type of Instagrammer that mostly have "followback?" comments on every post they have. either that, or their posts is filled with "friendly" comments from their friends (in which, they have a lot). Important to mention, these users usually have a good device that has a descent camera and/or good,paid apps to edit their pictures. and of course, they're very creative. Creative enough to impress their followers and make them think "wow, she/he gave some effort." ;)
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The tumblr user.
these Instagrammer happens to be found on tumblr as well. I mean, such cool-stylish-fashion-movielike- (ah you get the point) photos are found on that site! and they just happen to have such similar pictures on their instagram account. the difference is on instagram they have to have a square picture, and on tumblr it's very open, what size and image type.
now what I can't stand (in a positive way) about these type is How they can be so constant on using the same filter preset on their posts! it's so neat it hurts. :')
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| @opankaje on Instagram |
The (freelance) Photographer.
these kinds hurt me the most. Why? because it was on the top of my childhood dreams to become a photographer. And Instagram opens the space, the chance to become one. atleast as an instagram-phtographer. Because it's slogan says it all, "capture the moments". These photographers doesn't need 'cheap' filters to spice up their shots. It's awesome enough to be posted. Well, at least decrease the exposure, increase the contrast, sharpens it a little...that kind of editing.
They have this certain "sight" of the world in their eyes, that they interpret through their camera and share it again to the cyberspace.
and then there's me
to which one do you think my feed belongs to? it has a little bit of every thing! SIGH!
How I had a mental breakdown over Instagram?
there's this stereotype of instagrammer that I just can't handle, get over etc..
the one that restart their feed and make every "visitor" of their profile only sees their recent- and/or cool moments from the past! it's so unfair and yet a pretty damn good idea.
The thought of doing this idea came to my mind OFTEN times. And I just can't delete any more of those old pictures. Because everytime I see them, I get reminded of the memories and I don't want to get rid of those memories, I want to keep being reminded of the past, how great it was. and of course I tried some times to delete some embarrasing old posts, but I just can't carry on.
now my solution or at least the planned resolution of this instagram-game problem is such as creating a new account on instagram that I plan to use as soon as I have a new phone (hopefully with a good camera so I don't need to always export my shots back-and-forth) and become a freelance instagram photographer by capturing the moments, either it's the object, view, or even people (selfies). I hope that'll work. that's my vision. and my missions are to get a job, earn money, and get that damn phone.
this is called chasing and accomplishing a childhood dream!
not just any serious soc-med game. <(- -_,)>
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